thoughts on forgiveness

My entire life I've heard about the importance of forgiveness. I always thought it was so easy to forgive, but now I'm realizing that's probably because I've never really had anything too profound to forgive anyone for. However, I do see why it's so important--it stands in the way of moving on, getting past, enjoying where you are completely; when you hold on to that anger it gives that person an undeniable control. (Which is interesting because that only makes me more angry--which then only gives me more I need to forgive and get past.) So now that I am in the position of needing to call upon this selfless practice I'm not all too familiar with, I'm left here wondering--how, just how do you forgive someone? Is it one of those intangible things that one day you're just so tired of thinking the same thoughts over and over you force yourself to stop and let go? Is it really that simple? Or do people not ever truly forgive and instead just let time take its course until it's just not relevant anymore? Like most big things in life, there are more questions to be posed than answers to be given.

today...

my dad is my hero. Funny how at 25 he can still make me feel like I'm 5 years old. My dad has pretty amazing healing powers, I mean he can bandage a scraped knee, but also mend a hurting heart...and just about everything in between. It's not Father's Day and I know this is super sappy, but I just felt like making my love for him known (even though he probably doesn't even know this blog exists).

little brother

David stopped in last night on his way to Springfield. While we didn't have too long to spend together, I always enjoy every visit I have with him. Which is certainly not what he, or I or any of our family members would have assumed growing up. Sibling relationships are incredibly unique in that you not only come from the same upbringing--making everything contextually understandable and humorous--but also it can be one that truly does teach you unconditional love--how to receive and offer it. Someone who I have literally bit, slapped, pinched, screamed at, kicked, threatened, treated as my own personal servant and told I hated numerous times is actually one of my biggest fans (and I now totally his). Everyone who has a sis or bro...go hug them to today if you can, and if you can't at least send them a virtual one.

(((((David))))) <--apparently that's the appropriate emoticon.

returning

It's been nearly 3 years since my last post and reading what I wrote was almost surreal. Although those memories aren't too far removed in time, they feel very distant from my current reality. There's no way I'm going to hash out what has occured in my life over the past 3 years...I think instead I'll just start with today and move forward. It'll almost be like there was a long nap in between November of 08 and August of 11. (Which at the current moment seems about how much sleep I would like to have.)

It is funny to me that when I originally began this blog I had just been on a 3 week trip around the UK and now, beginning again, I have just returned from a 2 week European jaunt. Both wonderful adventures, both unique and memorable in their own ways.

So, now I'm officially reconnected (not that I was ever completely DISconnected--facebook, twitter, email, gchat--social networking overload) and hoping for original and shareable things to happen to me.